toward a beverage manifesto
I have tried to refine one aspect of my coffee snobbery to its brutal essense - a sharp, solid, crystalline truth that I may use to bludgeon heretics, a mighty sword of coffee righteousness, a chilling fatwa from the espresso jihad. I submit to you the following: No beverage, with the exception of beer and water, ought to be consumed in quantities greater than 8 ounces in a serving. Big Gulps of corn syrup slurpee-tude, Venti Starbunks coffee-flavored milkbombs, bottomless cups of weak drip coffee - all are shaving years off your lifespan.
The trend in America to supersize and sugar-ize is unquestionably unhealthy, but more insideous is the impact of this trend on the quality of our nation’s specialty coffee. A good shot of espresso need not be drowned out under 12, 16, god forbid 20 ounces of milk and sweeteners. The ubiquitous Starbucksian/McDonalds/7-11 give-em-what-they-want fast food mentality has conditioned folks to expect a meals worth of calories in every cup and replaced sensory appreciation with base satiation. In consequence, you can’t find truly good coffee outside of a handful of dedicated shops in a few cities. A crime, considering the staggering number of hard working entrepreneurial folks that have invested their labors into opening cafes, the vast amounts of fine equpiment that has been deployed from coast to coast, the wealth of technical information available, and the sheer tonnage of potentially fantastic green coffees brought by ship into this country.
Much of the growing specialty coffee industry is built around obscuring the essentials of good coffee. Many espresso machine vendors offer otherwise great equipment with false promises of effortless push-button perfection. Most roasters have a vested interest in hiding the truth that coffee begins to stale a week after roasting, having a shelf life not unlike fresh produce. Coffee trade magazines are overflowing with ads selling flavored syrups and smoothie blenders as the keys to coffee shop success. But I digress.
So have I gone too far? Are there beverages beyond beer and water best enjoyed super-sized?
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September 5th, 2004 at 7:04 pm
Point taken, and even mostly agreed, but since you ask I submit unsweetened fruit and vegetable juices for candidacy to exception.
September 5th, 2004 at 8:17 pm
I’d agree with this premise, but submit unsweetened iced green or barley tea (the style found in asia, bottled by asahi, suntory, etc). On a hot Kyoto day, I could drink about about 2 liters of the stuff… maybe not all at once, but certainly 16 oz at a time. And I think it has about 0 calories.
September 9th, 2004 at 12:45 am
So, does my daily (read: NEEDED) 12 oz double shot violate the terms of your manifesto? And if I occasionally drown the poor shots in another 4 ounces of milk, it’s still one shot per 8 ounces, right? Anything to eke more coffee goodness from the morning without bringing on the jitters… ay, maybe I’m an American after all.
September 10th, 2004 at 2:35 pm
yes, the twelver does violate!
October 14th, 2004 at 6:40 am
Great point! I was just explaining over IM how Starbucks claims to make various drinks, but they are all overwrought lattes in the end with far too much milk and/or water and, God forbid, sweeteners.
I think it’s not only our culture’s gluttony that has made this prevalent, but our pace. We want things we enjoy to last a long time, but we don’t have the time and patience to sit down and linger Vienna style over a single 8 oz espresso beverage. We lack the discipline, the time, and we crave too heavily to sip apace, and gulp. Therefore, we get more to make it last longer.
Where I work, in Midtown Atlanta, which is the most dense and urban area of Atlanta and also the most vibrant section, we lack a single cafe other than two Starbucks. Therefore, I make a few trips a week with work friends to release ourselves from the cubicle farm and enjoy a few moments. My friend from Brazil and I have tried to educate them on the fine points of the coffee drinks and was, for a while, even getting some goodish results at Starbucks. They even started keeping a few demitasse and cappucino cups handy for us instead of the paper cups. But somebody made off with them and they have no more. I was attempting to show them the proper proportions and to erase that whole “espresso is too strong” myth from their world view.
Alas, they order the grande or whatever the giant size iscoffee of the day without fail…
October 15th, 2004 at 10:51 am
Hear, hear.
Your point about the freshness of roasted coffee resonates especially well with me. Too often, in the finest grocery stores, I see vacuum packed bags of roasted beans with no valve. Uneducated shoppers infer from the fact that there are no gasses in the bag that they are buying coffee in the best condition, when the correct interpretation is that the coffee has been packed stale, intentionally.
I am well aware that I have left the topic of beverages and their appropriate size. Allow me one more submission on the topic of coffee beans: many good coffees are hurt by over-roasting.
September 4th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
I’ll concur with the comment about iced tea, and add a well-made lemonade on a hot day to the list of beverages meant to be consumed in large quantities. Otherwise, your point is bang-on. On road trips I’ve had to get on my damn knees and *beg* at F*Bucks, which are the only purveyors of coffee for hundreds of miles, not to burn the milk and to pour me a simple 2:1 blend of foam and coffee. It constantly amazes me how addicted to sugar our culture is… cheers,
November 23rd, 2006 at 7:35 am
also telling, regarding the F*Bucks, is the fact that they don’t even advertise or, in some cases even know about, their smallest size (the short).
February 5th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Rather than add another drink to the list of 8+ ouncers, I’d rather take one away and remove beer. No drink other than water should be consumed in greater than 8 oz servings. Water is only drunk when thirsty. Everything else is a vehicle for sugar, fat, or drugs (caffeine, alchohol) and should be consumed in moderation as a treat and not as a cure for thirst. 8 oz is a good place to stop. Instead of juicing all your fruits and vegetables, eat them and get the full fiber benefits.